Steven Culp as Richard Stewart on Family Album, U.S.A.

Episode 4 - A Piece of Cake

Act 1

Outside the Stewards' house early Friday evening. Marilyn Stewart rides to the house on a bicycle. Inside, her husband Richard is looking at photos in his album. Marilyn enters and sits on the floor.
Marilyn:	I am exhausted. My new exercise class is so hard.
Richard:	Your new exercise class?
Marilyn:	Yeah. My new advanced exercise class.
Richard:	Why advanced?
Marilyn:	My instructor thought that the beginner's class was too easy for me.
Richard:	[He laughs because she looks so tired.] Too easy for you? [He helps her stand up.]
Marilyn:	Don't laugh. In the beginner's class, they give you a chance to rest between exercises.
Richard:	So?
Marilyn:	The advanced class is nonstop.
Richard:	[He teases her.] I lift weights every morning for sixty minutes without stopping. [He shows her his arm muscle.] No problem.
Marilyn:	Listen, Richard, doing aerobics for an hour is a lot different than lifting weights.
Richard:	Yeah. Quite a bit different. I think aerobics is easy. I could work out in your class with no problem.
Marilyn:	You think so?
Richard:	Oh, without a doubt. When's the next class?
Marilyn:	Tomorrow morning at ten o'clock. Try it.
Richard:	Tomorrow morning after lifting weights, I'll try aerobics. [He snaps his fingers.] It's a snap. Tomorrow morning at ten o'clock.
In Richard and Marilyn's room the next morning. Richard is lifting weights. Marilyn is sewing.
Marilyn:	Aren't you going to the aerobics class this morning?
Richard:	[He finishes exercising and puts the weights on the floor.] Of course. Easy. [He snaps his fingers.] No sweat.
Marilyn:	You are not going to be able to move after this and the aerobics class.
Richard:	Are you kidding me? It's going to be a piece of cake. [Marilyn shakes her head no. ]
Richard:	You want to bet?
Marilyn:	Yeah. What's the bet?
Richard:	I bet I can go one hour in your class this morning and not feel a thing!
Marilyn:	The bet is â€" I win, and you cook dinner for the entire family. Or you win, and I cook dinner for the entire family.
Richard:	[He shakes her hand.] It's a bet.
Marilyn:	OK. Call my instructor, Jack Davis, right now. His number is 555-8842. The advanced class starts at ten o'clock.
Richard:	Well, it's eight twenty now.
Marilyn:	It only takes eight minutes by bicycle to the aerobics class. Give him a call. [Richard calls Jack Davis.]
Jack:	Davis Aerobics Center for Good Health.
Richard:	Jack Davis, please.
Jack:	This is Jack Davis.
Richard:	Hello. This is Richard Stewart. My wife, Marilyn Stewart, is a member of your program. I'd like to come to the ten o'clock advanced class this morning.
Jack:	Oh, fine, fine. Be here a few minutes early. You need to complete some forms before the class.
Richard:	Thanks. I'm on my way over.
Jack:	Good-bye.
Richard:	Bye-bye. [He hangs up.] It's all set. I'm going. [He puts his camera bag over his shoulder.]
Marilyn:	Bye.
Richard:	See you later. [They kiss.]
Marilyn:	Good luck.
Richard:	Don't forget about the bet. Dinner for the entire family. And that includes Susan.
Marilyn:	Don't you forget. [Richard snaps his fingers and leaves. Marilyn snaps her fingers and smiles.]

Act 2

Outside, on a busy street in Riverdale. Inside, the Davis Aerobics Center for Good Health. Jack Davis is taking Richard's blood pressure.
Jack:	OK, Richard. That's terrific. Your pressure is 120 over 75, and that's fine. Now stand up, please. [Richard stands up, and Jack takes his blood pressure again.] Good, it's 122 over 80. You can sit down now. When was your last complete physical?
Richard:	[He thinks.] Six months ago.
Jack:	Good. Do you have any back or knee problems?
Richard:	Nope. I am in perfect health.
Jack:	What do you do for a living, Mr. Stewart?
Richard:	I'm a photographer.
Jack:	Interesting. What do you photograph?
Richard:	Everything. The American scene. People, places, events.
Jack:	Did you ever think of photographing an aerobics class?
Richard:	No. ... I can't remember taking pictures of people exercising.
Jack:	But don't you think it'd be a good subject?
Richard:	Sure.
Jack:	I need some good photos for my advertising, Mr. Stewart. Maybe you can photograph a class, and I can give you and Mrs. Stewart a month of classes â€" free.
Richard:	When can I photograph a class?
Jack:	Anytime.
Richard:	How about today?
Jack:	Terrific!
In the exercise classroom at the Davis Aerobics Center. Jack Davis and another instructor are about to teach a class. Richard is taking many photographs.
Jack:	[He enters.] Hi.
Instructor:	Oh, hi.
Jack:	Are we ready to go?
Instructor:	Yeah. Yeah. [to students] Let's get in our lines. We're going to take it slow first. Stretch up ... and we're going to go left first ... 2, 3, 4 ... now switch. ... OK, hold to the right. Sunrises. Stretch it out. Flat back. Bring it up ... and twists ... and side ... 2, 3 ... and left ... push ... push ... turn ... hit the floor. Take it side again. ... OK, and switch. Stretch it out. And we're going to warm down with a tango. Left, right. Enjoy it.
In Richard and Marilyn's room later that day. Marilyn is alone, waiting for Richard. She is folding some towels. Richard sings and dances into the room.
Marilyn:	Richard, did you go to the Davis Aerobics class today?
Richard:	[He takes off his camera and film bags and dances around the room.] Yes, I went to the aerobics class today.
Marilyn:	What is wrong with you?
Richard:	Nothing. I am in excellent health. [He starts dancing with Marilyn.] I have ideal blood pressure. A perfect heart. In others words, I'm in wonderful condition.
Marilyn:	Richard, did you to go the aerobics class, really?
Richard:	Don't forget to invite Susan for dinner.
Marilyn:	[not paying attention] And your legs don't hurt?
Richard:	[He jumps up and down.] Hurt? What do you mean?
Marilyn:	What about your arms? Lift your arms up like this. [She lifts up her arms to show him, and he lifts his arms.] And they don't hurt, not even a little?
Richard:	Nope.
Marilyn:	You are in great condition. I can't believe it!

Act 3

In the Stewarts' kitchen a little later. Richard is drinking a soda. Marilyn is writing a grocery list.
Marilyn:	[counting] Grandpa, Ellen, Philip, Robbie, you and me. That's six steaks.
Richard:	Don't forget Susan.
Marilyn:	Seven steaks. Cooking dinner for the entire family is not so easy. [She points to her list.] The shopping: the salad: tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, and onions. The main course: steak and potatoes. Richard, how much broccoli do I need for seven people?
Richard:	Marilyn, I have to tell you something. At today's exercise class ...
Marilyn:	Yes, Richard.
Richard:	Well, I didn't really exercise.
Marilyn:	I knew it!
Richard:	I wanted to, but Jack Davis needed a photographer. [He laughs.] I'm sorry, Marilyn.
Marilyn:	I don't understand. Did you exercise or not?
Richard:	No. Instead of exercising, I photographed the class.
Marilyn:	And you didn't exercise?
Richard:	No.
Marilyn:	There's another advanced class today at four o'clock. We'll go together.
Richard:	What about the bet?
Marilyn:	Oh, the bet is still on, but you shop for the groceries. Remember, you win, and I cook dinner for the entire family.
Richard:	You win, and I cook dinner for the entire family.
Marilyn:	Including Susan. Four o'clock at the advanced exercise class. With me. [They shake hands and laugh.]
Later, at the aerobics class. Marilyn and Richard are exercising to music. They are following the instructor's and Jack's directions.
Jack:	Don't forget to breathe.
Instructor:	Skip, hop, front. Twist ... again ... OK, now ... scissors.
Richard:	This is fun. It's a piece of cake.
Marilyn:	Yeah. Just wait.
Instructor:	5, 6, 7, go right, 1, 2, back, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, pony, pony ... 1, 2, 3, kick ... 1, 2, 3, kick ... pony. And twist, twist.
Jack:	OK. Let's pick up the pace. [Richard is getting tired.]
Marilyn:	How are you doing, Richard?
Richard:	I can barely move.
Instructor:	2, 3, 4, front. Now we're going to run it off. Front ... knees up, knees up.
Jack:	OK. Finish off by jogging in place. OK. Keep those knees up. All right. That's it for today. Thank you, everyone. See you next week.
Richard:	[to Marilyn] Thank you, Jack, but no thank you.
Marilyn:	The advanced exercise class is not so easy, huh? [Richard slowly falls to the floor.]
Richard:	No, no. You were right. I was wrong.
Marilyn:	Come on, Richard. Get up. Let's go. You have to cook dinner for the entire family.
Richard:	Marilyn, I'm exhausted. I can't move.
Marilyn:	Oh, you'll do it. It's a piece of cake. [She snaps her fingers.]
Jack:	Excuse me, Richard, Marilyn.
Richard:	You are a terrific instructor, Jack.
Jack:	Thanks. But I have a question. Is this your very first advanced aerobics class?
Richard:	[He laughs.] Yes, it is.
Jack:	You are in great shape, Richard. Very few people last in this class for the full hour the very first time.
Marilyn:	It's true. You are in great shape.
Richard:	Thanks!
Marilyn:	I think we'll cook dinner together. [They smile and kiss.]

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Steven Culp on "Family Album, U.S.A."

Episode 4 - A Piece of Cake